Korea Epic Company Parties

Korea has been going great, each weekend has been exponentially greater than the last. It is getting nice and hot outside which means my body is coming out of hibernation and getting into action. I enjoy gaining my winter layer of blubber and sleeping as much as possible. Now that the sun is shining again my body feels alive. Last night was very interesting indeed so I decided to write about it. I have some kind of problem with terrible bosses. My first boss was arrested twice at work with men wearing bullet proof vests. That is a whole nother story though. My newest boss who is manipulative and incompetent reeks of management material. We had a dinner last night for three of the korean teachers that were jumping ship (quitting Avalon). If I haven't told you yet the boss of the whole school loves to drink. Korea is a true drinking culture and it shines the most when you eat with your head boss and he does at least ten shots in a row. I expected it so I came prepared. I will tell you a quick trick that will most likely save your life in Korea at these company dinners if you are a light weight. This only works at Korean BBQ restaurants mind you. There is a clear cold seaweed soup that has a broth that tastes like cherry Koolaid. When no one is looking dip your shot glass inside and you're set! I would recommend doing it after the third or fourth shot when no one is paying attention to what anyone else is doing. Anyways, after about 10 shots at the table my boss began telling us about his enormous flat screen plasma TV. This is the boss that got caught by his wife for having 60 GB of porn on his external hard drive so now you can assume that his character is top notch. So he proceeds to tell us that watching porn on this mammoth screen feels like you're really there so much so that he actually tries to touch the screen and get in on the action. I don't know about you but when I'm watching TV, the times I like my TV to make me feel like I'm actually there is when it's showing a video of an island paradise, India, or diving in the red sea. The last place I want it to "feel like your actually there" is in between a man penetrating a woman with terrible 70's music in the background. Who in their right mind would want to feel like they were actually there. Naturally when your having a very professional comfortable conversation about porn with your boss you ask him what his favorite type of porno is. His answer was quite possibly the highlight of Korea for me. He told me he enjoyed American porn the most. Of course I followed with why and his answer astonished me. Because, and I quote "I love how big the American penises are, and on my TV it makes them look even bigger!" I know sometimes working relationships are comfortable between boss and employee but correct me if I'm wrong...I'm pretty sure you don't talk about things like that with your boss. Anyways I died laughing for an hour and then laughed even more when the head of the school got up to give a speech seeing as though after twenty shots he had shape shifted into Lucifer. The mans face looked like satan himself, red as a lobster and his eyes were practically shut. I wish I could speak Korean better because I'm sure his speech was nonsense. Anyways I am going to the mini wonders of the world tomorrow so I will be sure to post on how ridiculous it is. I hope everyone is doing well and I hope you are still enjoying the blog. Sorry I haven't posted for awhile.