October 3rd
So here I am with the most beautiful mountain scenery in the world as far as the eyes can see but only half way up the mountain, and to be candid I have not seen the beautiful scenery yet I am more just imagining it because right at that moment I am starring at the ground and mainly my shoes wheezing from exhaustion. Meanwhile, a 50,000 year old Korean woman that was most likely alive when dinosaurs roamed the earth that looks as though she has been revived on several occasions who probably started the hike about an hour after me is passing me up. She is barely winded and also puffing away on a cigarette as she walks by. If Marlboro needs a new image to entice all ages on the joys of smoking I found that image on a hike in Korea. Lets talk about the differences between me and her. Alright 1. I was wearing a backpack filled with water, she was carrying five packs of cigarettes maybe to congratulate herself once she made it to the top of Everest. 2. I had on hiking shoes, she was wearing sandals that closely resembled birkenstocks (the winner of the lesbians choice for comfortable footwear award for the last ten years). and finally 3. I think the main difference between us was that contrary to popular belief in this situation the Korean woman has the penis and American man has a vagina. I did make it to the summit but only because as this beast of a woman passed me I threw a lasso around her neck and was dragged comfortably to the top. What a beautiful country I have come upon. I can't wait to see it's beauty in the winter. I will try and make it to more historic areas later. Anyways Im tired Im going to nap before I go out anywhere else thank you everyone for following I will try and make some of the posts short and I hope everyone is doing well. Don't worry about me Im doing fine.
HAHAHA! Bro I miss you! That is amazing man. I did a hike recently and I was looking at my feet almost crying at one point. That woman probably eats rice and fish only, where as you eat BBQ, cheeseburgers, chili dogs dogs, fried dumplings and hot sauce. Just go easy on the sauces and you'll be good to go up against grandma. lol. Dude keep these post coming they're excellent.
ReplyDeletePS no more kissing the severed head of a pig in Asian meat markets. Swine Flu man. Did you get a vaccine? because if so then you can play with as many animal heads as you want. but if not, I worry that you will become a breeding specimen for a goddam super virus and then you'll bring it back to America and be classified a level 4 bio hazard.