In dealing with foreigners, there are four societies I have come to be able to categorize people in. One is the church going people. They are nice to hang around, very hospitable, and very welcoming to new comers. They spend most of their nights inside having the occasional get together. They talk about the party goers like villagers would vampires a long time ago. They never see them but they know they run rampant at night. They sound like they have been there and done that and now want no part of the soul sucking. The next group is the alcoholics aka the vampires who spend most of their nights getting hammered until sunrise. This kind makes lots of really great plans to do things in the midst of the drunken happy state. When waking up in their own urine, feces, and throw up they decide that they would rather stay home the next day so they can regain strength for drinking again that night. They have never actually met the church goers because they have never seen the daylight other than sunrise which is the universal signal for this breed to scurry home to their coffins. This brings me to the gaming anime type who maintain the same social hours as the vampires but only because they are at home playing world of warcraft or some other massive multiplayer online game. They came to Korea to meet a wife and are amazed at how great their terrible jokes are flying over here. One thing I would like to express to this kind. A. If your jokes were terrible in the states and no one thought you were funny then most chances are that the reason the girl is laughing so hard with you is because she has no idea what you are saying but really wants a green card or an escape from her life. B. You are your own figment of your imagination because a suave video game anime ladies man does not exist. I met one of these kids at a bar that didn't drink....he came to meet Korean girls that were drinking knowing that if they were drunk he had even better odds and also his jokes would go over twice as well. This is when he told me about his scooby doo, its a small world, final fantasy, and star wars tattoos. Then to top them all off he showed me his ultra masculine harry potter tattoo under his right rib cage...which is where I looked at him dead seriously and slowly parted my hair to reveal the tattooed mark of Voldemort on my forhead. We then made out for a good amount of time but when we stopped it got awkward and I haven't seen him since. Ahhh the trials and tribulations of a Harry Potter fan. This type exists just as much in the states as it does here. The only difference is that in Korea they get layed. The final breed is the traveling ones who don't stay put...they are more of an in the moment type people who are looking for new experiences. I have yet to meet to many of these people but I am looking for them because I know they exist. I am probably categorized as one of these people. I notice that a lot of people also came to Korea to start over or escape their lives back home. For all the readers out there I would like you to remember one thing: When reading realize that I am really laid back and not judgmental so as many generalizations as I make they are all merely half hearted observations....I am letting you dive into the wonderful world of Zach's creative cortex. So please don't take offense to any of these blogs.
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In China it was:
ReplyDelete1) Young drunks - fresh grads looking to raise hell for a year. Me, Boggs, Lukens.
2) Old drunks - gnarly old dudes that washed out back home; divorced, alimony paid, 1 days notice at the firm, now out in China screwing some girl a third their age. Good for a story every so often.
3) Young dorks - fresh grads out to study the language and learn the culture. I guess I was a halftimer my second year.
4) Old dorks - usually retired couples that are living in a new place every year, supporting themselves with money from home and teaching for a visa/apartment. Probably the best humans of the lot, and definitely the best teachers. Except they fall asleep while teaching sometimes.
5) Sob stories - similar to old drunks, but without the drinking. The fact that their lives fell apart without a substance problem usually means they're even more obnoxious than the old drunks.
6) Amazingly hot babe - very rare, and usually once you spot one she'll be gone within a few weeks anyway. Not so much fun once they realize all the local guys are working like crazy and all the foreign guys fall into the 5 categories above and are meeting gorgeous Asian girls with weird standards everyday. Basically if the girl is super hot the incentive to go abroad is pretty low, unless there's some sort of mental deficiency. If you spot one try to make some observations, they're like a new breed that scientists haven't figured out yet.
Good addition Brian I completely agree. Ill look out for the number 6's
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ReplyDeleteZach, you make me want to punch a baby
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ReplyDeleteHAHAHA. Zach that was equally brilliant and borderline disturbing. Stereotypes are great thats all I know. For me, I find that using stereotypes really puts everything into perspective like nothing else.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ralphie, I am going to take that as a compliment because I too love the sport of punching babies for they truly have no defensive skills. It is really the only way to see the damage one punch is capable of. Have you arrived in S. Korea yet?
ReplyDeleteWill thanks for reading brotha...I will be posting more very shortly..